


at the bottom of the ocean there's a place for you and me

by mountaindews



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: M/M, a lot of feelings too, a lot of wind and waves and ocean, dense gays in a storm, that's all you need to know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-22
Updated: 2017-03-22
Packaged: 2018-10-09 08:40:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10408272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mountaindews/pseuds/mountaindews
Summary: « It's 'calling' me, Kaoru-kun. Can you 'hear' it? »« Hear what? »He can barely hear himself over the wind and the waves. But Kanata is no regular human, he should know. He's not really surprised he can hear something he can't, at all. And when Kanata breathes, he seems pleased about the salt in his lungs.« The 'ocean'. It's 'calling' me. It's 'begging' me to 'go home'. »





	

« As I would say if this was a class I was forced to attend by Sena » Leo Tsukinaga stomps his foot on the desk, shaking a fist at the very appalled driving instructor still trying to understand what is going on – why a middle schooler would be in a third year driving course, indeed « which I am — this is brainwashing! You can have energy drinks and drive! Energy drinks keep you awake! They're not bad at all! »  
Izumi has given up. From the desk he has dropped in half an hour ago, in the back of the class, Kaoru sees him cover his face in visible shame, probably hoping the instructor won't remember who is who from the roll call.  
Kaoru is sure he doesn't. Leo is a handful to manage per se, let alone anyone else.  
« Utter falsehood! Lies! I could have two energy drinks and then drive Ruka-tan to school! She never says anything about my driving, I must be so good I leave her speechless. »  
« Or she's so afraid she doesn't dare opening her mouth to breathe, Tsukinaga-kun. » Eichi gracefully closes the small notebook he had on his desk - Kaoru is sure he hasn't written anything in it since they've sat down.  
« I can't hear you! My ears can't pick up the sound waves of liars! Uh, maybe if I had antennae, like an alien… ? Ah, Nazu, hand me a piece of paper! I feel a song coming through! A song about pathological liars, and it's gonna be called The Emperor's drive — ! »  
« Isn't it a very long name for a song? »  
« Quiet! You're killing it! Nobody say a word, or you'll kill it! »  
Whatever the driving instructor had pictured this evening like, it wasn't quite like this. His left hand shivers as it goes up to fix his glasses.  
« A teacher. » He breathes out shakily, like he's afraid for his life. Poor guy. « I have to call a teacher. » And so he runs out of the class, covering his forehead with an arm as if looking for protection from the short red haired demon: like he's running for his life. Kaoru noiselessly chuckles as other boys get up from their desks and surround the inspired genius, who's still scribbling like mad on the back of one of the handouts about safe driving they were given. This is going to be a fun story to tell the exchange student. Is she even going to believe it? Ah, he's supposed to get some proof, isn't he?  
As he holds up his phone for a picture, trying to get the whole class in, that's when he notices it. Something is missing. Someone, actually.  
« Has anyone seen Kanata? » Moricchi asks, worried. Apparently he's not the only one that has noticed.  
« I was about to ask the same thing. Wasn't he here for the roll call? »  
Leo screeches in agony when Hasumi gets the pen out of his hand, so when Rei speaks, he's a little louder than it should be for the distance they are. One desk.  
« He has gone out–! Ah, my wonderful friend. He heard the rain, and told me he was going to go out to enjoy it; I never even heard him leave! Quiet as usual. What an elegant talent to have! »  
A loud thunder would have been heard in the distance, almost to ironically underline Rei's words, if it wasn't for the yell Hasumi let out when Leo jumped on his back to reach his pen.  
« He's gone out? »  
« So he said. Someone should look for him, actually. He's gone missing about twenty minutes ago. »  
« Why haven't you told us? » Chiaki sounds less worried than he looks, and Kaoru is thankful for that, since he would surely sound way more worried than he looks. « I will go! A hero should always rescue his teammates when they are in trouble! »  
Wataru leans on his desk making a sound of disappointment with his tongue, even though the clicking gets lost in the midst of yells coming from three desks across.  
« There is no real need to, Chiaki-kun. Someone has gone. You should sit down and be ready to explain why you didn't try to stop Tsukinaga, rather than try and run away now. Here comes the trouble, there it is~! »  
Akiomi is too busy yelling to notice someone has slipped away from the class. Not someone from the back seats, at the very least.

« Kanata? Kanata! Where are you? »  
The wind howls, swallowing his words; the waves crash against the shore loudly, and louder, even more loud as Kaoru raises his voice, and all his yells become noiseless whimpers in the salty seawater that splashes on his skin.  
No one was by the fountain (or in it), and the pool building was closed. But fresh imprints in the mud guided him to the beach, and what he could have walked in fifteen minutes he ran in eight, feeling the rain, though light, soak his clothes and his hair.  
In the feeble light of the cloud-covered moon, the whole beach looks indistinguishably black, but Kaoru is sure the shore is further than it should be. Wet sand sticks to the bottom of his pants, and he stumbles on seaweed and puddles as he walks, calling for Kanata, hoping his voice will reach him, because there's no other place he could be.  
« Kaoru-kun? »  
The imprints in the sand stop before reaching the single figure that stands out in the rain, but Kaoru has no doubts on who it is.  
« Kanata! What are you doing here? »  
There's no answer. Kaoru blinks once, and twice, to keep the water out of his eyes as he gets closer to Kanata. He's soaking wet; his clothes, his hair, his arms are dripping, yet he looks calm, like he's not standing on the shore in the middle of a storm, risking to be taken away the waves any moment. The sand sucks his feet in with every steps he takes, but he doesn't really care about that now.  
« What were you thinking? It's dangerous out here! God, Moricchi will cry. Let's not tell him, shall we? »  
That's when Kanata turns to him, and Kaoru wishes he wasn't looking. He's smiling, but there's nothing amused in his eyes. It's almost as if the storm has gotten into them, turning the clear light green into black. Or maybe it's just the light. Kaoru blinks, and it's gone. But the smile is not, and he finds himself staring at it, at how his lips are curled slightly at the angles, and how they move when he inhales. Kanata's lips look cold and water is dripping down them; Kaoru wonders, just briefly, if they're salty like his, if they taste like the ocean.  
Far from them, across the ocean, a thunder crashes loud on the water, and Kaoru wants to believe the stronger waves that hit the sand now are the product of its impact. He breathes, and it feels like drowning.  
« It's 'calling' me, Kaoru-kun. Can you 'hear' it? »  
« Hear what? »  
He can barely hear himself over the wind and the waves. But Kanata is no regular human, he should know. He's not really surprised he can hear something he can't, at all. And when Kanata breathes, he seems pleased about the salt in his lungs.  
« The 'ocean'. It's 'calling' me. It's 'begging' me to 'go home'. »  
Water drips down Kanata's face, and Kaoru is not sure whether it's tears or seawater. He doesn't speak. Something in Kanata's tone tells him he wouldn't listen, anyway.  
« That's the only 'home' I want to 'return' to. The 'bottom' of the 'ocean'… It 'hurts'. I can't 'breathe'. » He exhales, with a noise that sounds as close to a sob as Kaoru can hear. « This is the 'reason' I 'came' here. It doesn't 'hurt' as much. But the 'voice' is 'stronger' here. It 'hurts' in a 'different way'. Because I cannot 'go home'. »  
Kanata's hand is cold against his, but for once, he doesn't push it away. Kaoru grips it tight, focusing his gaze on the horizon and the distant flashes of light that break the dark storm clouds.  
« I have Chiaki here. The 'children' of 'Ryuseitai'… Rei, Shu, Wataru, Natsume… Souma… You are here, Kaoru-kun. All of you make 'land' less 'suffocating'. I'm 'happy' when I'm with you. So I don't 'worry' about the 'pain'. I don't 'feel' it as much. »  
Kaoru understands.  
He can't help but understand, since it's the same way he constantly feels. A fish out of the water. Though Kanata takes it on another level, without a doubt.  
He nods slowly, still not daring to look at Kanata. He knows he's smiling, yet he hopes he's not. It makes the temptation to look stronger.  
« You… you won't go home when we graduate, will you? »  
« Mhh-mhh. » Sounds like a negative noise. « There is still 'something' I need to do on the 'land'. I 'promised'. »  
He'd love to ask what, but Kanata wouldn't answer.  
« I want to keep being an idol. » He says instead, listening to the waves as they grow quieter. « I want to keep making people smile, to make them have a good time when they're watching our shows. Giving them a fraction of time where they can just enjoy being there, and being themselves. » He lets out a sigh, then a chuckle, as he starts to feel how cold and wet his clothes are now that the storm is passing. Gross. « It sounds so pretentious, doesn't it? But that's my reason. Knowing someone is happy because they're looking at me, I — »  
« It's not 'pretentious'.» Kanata's index presses down on his knuckle, like a punishment. « It's 'noble'. No, 'kind'. It's 'kind' of you. Don't look down on it. »  
Kanata laughs, and with how the waves and the wind let Kaoru hear him now, that's more than enough to make his heart flutter and crash back onto his ribs, like the sea.  
« 'Seeing' you already makes me 'happy'. You're going to be a 'splendid' idol, Kaoru-kun. »  
His skin is too wet to register the touch at first. Too wet and too cold. But Kanata's breath is hot on his neck - his lips feel so soft - and he's already pulled back when Kaoru turns in his direction, scandalized, cheeks flushed and mouth open in a mute yelp, letting out syllables of flustered words. Kanata laughs again, not letting go of his hand, and Kaoru finds himself gripping it tighter back, listening to his voice.  
And it hits, for once. It hits him like the waves hit the shore during storms.  
That they don't need to talk to understand what the other feels. That this is still imperfect - maybe it'll always be - but they're fine with it, and have always been. And that when Kanata laughs, there isn't a single part of him that doesn't want to listen to him, and laugh with him, smile at his smiles. That he's never loved anyone like he loves Kanata, and he'll probably never find someone that loves him like Kanata loves him. Gently and distantly, like the sun caressing the surface, yet deeply, and constantly, like the ocean. He swallows, and it's like drowning all over again. Drowning in the shallows, staring the sun under from under the surface.  
« Kanata, I — »  
« Do you 'hear' it now, Kaoru-kun? »  
Not the wind, not the waves.  
« Hear what? »  
But the angry rumbling of distant thunders.  
« The 'voice' of the 'ocean' has changed. It's 'crying' now. It's so 'loud'… »  
The storm has not yet stopped on the other side of the sea. Quiet waves wash the shore, a gentle breeze makes him shiver in his clothes, but the lightnings still fall somewhere in front of them, white wounds in the gray clouds. Sea-tainted lips curve in a sad smile.  
« Yeah. I hear it now. »  
They can wait. The crying of the ocean is more important than his feelings, anyway. Or maybe he's just lost his mind in the storm, let Kanata drag him underwater with him.  
Whatever this is, Kaoru doesn't mind it. Holding Kanata's hand, listening to the waves and the thunders… The lightings over the sea don't look as intimidating now. Kaoru finds them beautiful, in a sorry way. Yes, the rest can wait.  
None of them speak after that, too busy being lost in their thoughts.  
It was like watching fireworks.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a early birthday gift for my lovely bae bae, emme! (@natsumugiis on twitter~)  
> happy early birthday, honey bun! we're a little like kaoru and kanata, aren't we? we don't need words to understand each other, and we're happy together, even if we don't truly understand what the hell ia happening. flashbacks to card games at five am around the dining table. i hope you liked your surprise! i know you love kaokana, and i wanted to do. something different. sorry it's six days early. i couldn't wait (…)  
> THAT SAID, kudos and comments are appreciated! thank you for reading! ~


End file.
